Diversity Primer w/Rev. Brig: What I mean by "White People"
Let’s talk about “whiteness.”
When I say “white people,” it is a generalization if I don’t specify which white people I’m talking about. AND that generalization applies to all European descendants. However, of course, if I use the term with a qualifier attached that specifies a subgroup, then you should process it with that qualifier attached. For example,
”Most of the terrorist acts in America are committed by white people.”This statement clearly does not mean that I think all white people are terrorists. It also does not mean that I think that all terrorists are white. There are qualifiers included in the statement to specify exactly what I mean.
“Whiteness,” in my semantics, on the other hand, is a reference to the kind of conditioning that all white European descendants are exposed to from very early on in life, often before they are even born, by way of the conditioning of their parents. If you are racialized as white, in a general statement where I reference whiteness, I’m talking about you. In a non-general statement, I may not be talking about you, unless the qualifier attached to it applies to you (see the above example).
There may be times, in order to reduce the amount of charge inherent to certain topics, I may practice indirect teaching rather than personal calling out. I may decide to teach publicly about something so as to make it easier to digest, instead of personal confrontation. And I may use a soft generalization with qualifiers. If I choose that approach I have my reasons. I am a dynamic teacher. Sometimes what I’m doing is cutting y’all a break by not bringing attention to one person OR I’m addressing multiple people at once using language that allows more than one person to be introspective. Got it?
I promise you that you never ever ever have to explain to a black person that “not all white people...” thing. If a black person actually believes “all white people” about anything, (and that’s usually not the case), your saying this isn’t going to convince them of otherwise. Only demonstrations in action will do so. And, let’s face it, your concern isn’t about some kind of oppression or harm that comes to you because they believe this. You just don’t want them to think of you in that way. And we will address that here.
All people are born into the conditioning inherent to white supremacist society. Those racialized as white are not exempt from this.
And of course I have plenty of experiences with white people who do the work to dismantle this conditioning. It is a lifelong thing though, so it’s also not a good idea to claim yourself cured or exempt from any foibles or blunders. It’s inevitable. But you don’t ever have to explain to a black person that some white people aren’t horrible.
Here’s why:
If we don’t know each other I will hear you in one of a few ways...
as if you took my remarks personal and are being defensive,
as if you are really worried that I might think the thing I’ve said applies to you and you don’t want me to think it does,
as if my statement struck a nerve and you misread it as a generalization, 4) as if you want to derail the potency of what I’ve said,
as if you think I’m being prejudiced against all white people
Let’s look at these one by one because they are nuanced.
1 and 2: If you and I know each other intimately (as in family or close enough that you’d be welcome to break bread at my table) there is no reason whatsoever for you to assume that I don’t know whether or not what I’ve said applies to you. If it did, we’d have a private conversation about it because we share intimacy and i give you the benefit of the doubt. If that conversation hasn’t happened then my remarks ain’t about you any more than me saying most terrorism in this country is committed by white men is about you. You don’t need to tell me not all white people. And if you’re concerned and want to make sure, I’d welcome a more direct and private question like, “Do I do that?” But if we don’t know each other I can’t answer that question, can I? 😊 You may assume that I am emotionally sober enough and skilled enough at critical thinking to have that much discernment.
Here’s an article that explains what this feels like to black people.
3: Before you ask the question, “Is she talking about me?” do some introspection about whether or not what I’ve said applies to you. If it does, “not all white people” is not going to adjust my perspective of your culpability. Only practicing integrity will do that. Awareness and acknowledgement without judgement, and adjustments in behavior will make it all better. And if it doesn’t apply to you, again, perhaps you’ve misinterpreted or misread what I wrote, or we’ve had a misunderstanding. Either way “not all white people” does not rectify anything. Double check that before responding.
And if it isn’t about you please don’t make it about you.
4: If you’ve come to derail the conversation? Please don’t. If you disagree you can find a more reasoned way to discuss it with me than to throw “not all white people” into the conversation randomly.
5: If you think I’m prejudiced against all white people it means you probably just got here and don’t know me at all. OR it’s a disingenuous response because you’re triggered or nailed by what I’ve shared. Either way, the attached video should help.
Thank you for taking to time for this intimacy.
If you’re non-BIPOC and/or racialized as white and would like more information on how you can expand your awareness around race and social justice, please click here to learn more about our Curriculum for Diversity Consciousness series.
May we remember what we once knew before we forgot who we were.
Your Rev. Brig