ADVANCED POSE VIII: INTIMACY
“We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. 12 hugs a day for growth.”
Intimacy with others is one of the best ways to get to know your blind spots. It's a very important part of being in integrity/alignment with your true Higher Self. Our relationships are sources of expanded perception, sources of companionship and collaboration, and healthy triggers for various neurological functions.
Emotional imbalance and lack of intimacy impact well being on a much deeper level than you might think. Physical touch is needed for whole health. For example, if someone who struggles with overeating comes home after work tired, alone and stressed, what are they likely to do? Binge. But if they come home to a warm, loving partner who hugs them, appreciates them, and desires them, they’re much less likely to binge. From hugs and kisses to sex, intimacy of all types is key to physical health.
Sex is taboo in most cultures, but the truth is that it’s a lovely source of health, happiness, and vitality. Besides, none of us would be here without it. Let’s talk a little bit about the benefits of intimacy:
Deeper connection with your partner: Frequent affection improves your connection with your partner and makes you feel fulfilled. When you’re intimate, chemicals like oxytocin are released that make you feel closer to your significant other.
Boosts mood and sense of well-being: Sex is a form of exercise, and causes the body to release feel-good hormones such as serotonin, making you feel happy and energetic.
Reduces stress: Any form of physical activity, sex included, reduces stress by burning through the stress hormone cortisol, which causes unwanted belly fat and anxiety. Physical intimacy gets your heart rate up and utilizes all the large muscle groups.
Improves immunity: Sex flushes the lymphatic system and in turn strengthens the immune system. When you engage in this type of physical activity and release, circulation is improved and the lymph system is drained. This means less bloating, reduced brain fog, and a resilient immune system.
Reduces overeating and/or under-eating: A loving partnership can reduce the need to overeat, or the tendency to undereat – whichever way you lean when you’re not taking care of yourself. Nourishment through love and intimacy balances the body so that you crave the food and drink your body physically needs – not more or less.
Encourages growth of brain cells: Studies have shown that sex leads to growth of new brain cells, improving your confidence and ability to voice your needs, from the bedroom to the boardroom.
Improves sleep: Sex – especially climax – has a big impact on the nervous system, calming it and re-centering it. This means your mental chatter and physical tension will dissipate so that you can sleep deeply.
Intimacy helps you live longer: Healthy sexual relationships can prolong your life up to 8 years. Let that sink in. You get to enjoy a great relationship, have sex frequently … and live longer because of it. It just keeps getting better, doesn’t it? Being married in a healthy relationship increases your odds of living a longer and healthier life. Your spouse is a life partner, a tribe member. And those who have tribes live longer and suffer from fewer health ailments.
There are many other benefits to practicing intimacy with ourselves and others. Yes, you can practice intimacy with yourself, through the practices you’ve learned so far, you are already doing it. And in a more altruistic and metaphysical sense, intimacy is a vehicle for connecting on all three planes of existence, so that you observe and acknowledge your oneness with EVERYTHING. You can be more intimate with all things in the universe through the practice of oneness. And that practice of oneness leads to experiences of perceived abundance and access to resources you might otherwise not be aware you have access to. Intimacy also provides the opportunity to combine and collaborate with others in the ways that we are designed to collaborate, creating yin/yang, gender balance, complimentary cooperative skills and gifts. There are alchemical benefits to intimacy which we won’t get too deep into here, but I want to be sure to mention them because most western societies have epidemic level deficiencies in intimacy and connection.